It's Official

More or less, anyway... I haven't touched this blog in almost a year. It's crazy how much a year can really effect a person. College brought me closer to myself; I journaled most every day, accounting one interesting observation after another... somehow I veered from that personality though. Somehow I left myself behind. I don't regret my recent past, but it is nice to know that I'm growing out of the person that I became.

The point is that I not only left myself, but first I left God- an act that doesn't begin to affect you until you find yourself in a helpless and lonely state. I guess I thought that I "figured" things out. Became more "independent," or so to speak anyways. I thought that I had climbed some mountain of knowledge and to revert back to faith? Well, that would only be back-tracking, right?

Wrong.

Who are we by nature anyhow? Inter-dependent. 2 is always better than one, even if the other one is a spirit. I mean, who are we to think that we have it figured out? If one claims to have all the answers but is dead inside, would you still believe him to be right? The man of little faith has crooked answers.You see, we as humans have no excuse not to be happy, to live abundantly, to be joyous. Is that not our God-given right?

I guess I don't really know where I intend to go with this. I suppose I'm letting the message speak for itself.

Should I give a word of advice? I guess to follow your intuition. I've come to find that it's a voice that is not my own.



The joy that once filled your eyes
Was reflected by your writing

My heart breaks for you

To know that so much beauty, creativity, and expression resides in you,
My God, and to see you turn your cheek to it
Is the saddest mechanism
You use
In defense

For truth?
For logic?

Untie those ropes that which choke you
And that blindfold you claim to keep you
"Busy"

Never have I felt such strong compulsions
To seek out happiness for another being

I cannot explain this love
It is neither pocessive
Nor Jealous
Its quest is guidence
Perhaps a longing for such a companionship
That I've yet to achieve
Earthly, anyway

Is this strictly my design?
A fallacy of mind?

What drives this ambition?
God, are you my intuition?